So some of you might have noticed that I have not posted in a while. That for the past eight months or so this blog has kind of taken a backseat. I have been experiencing the hardest time in my entire life thus far of my 30 years! In June of 2016 we learned we were unexpectedly expecting! Those of you that know me probably know that I have OCD tendencies…. I like to be in charge! I love routine and stability and I thrive on it. Well, all of that went down the drain one sunny Saturday in June. It’s not that we didn’t want more children or that we weren’t planning on adding to our family. It was that we were waiting maybe 1 more year or 2. It’s that I went from working on myself to growing a human without any planning! At first there was tremendous amount of guilt for my son who wasn’t even two yet. How could he not be my baby anymore? How could I make him share me? How could I love another child? On top of all the emotional things I was going through my body started changing physically and decided that I no longer needed to sleep. It decided that it was going to be nauseous at all times of the day! You just have to keep going. There’s not time for rest and pity I’m a mom and I have a job and so you just keep going! Then there’s the aspect of how hard this has been on my marriage. Something that was incredibly solid and I thought could withhold anything seems to have some work that needs done. Some supports that are rotting and need repaired. We are working on that and we are both fighters and we will continue to fight for our family. Looking back on the past year I feel like I should’ve been more honest with the people in my life at how much I was struggling but I wasn’t. I also know that the struggle isn’t over! Soon very soon we are going to welcome this tiny human I’ve been growing into this world and it might in fact be harder than this past year! That just as the dynamic of my life changed with pregnancy so will it with a new human to care for. But unlike the pregnancy I’ve had an entire nine months to prepare my mind and to get ready! As ready as one can be for a journey they have never been on. And all of this sounds super gloomy but I want you all to know that I have hope. I know that there is a plan and that life works itself out one way or another and ultimately everything is going to be alright. I’ve learned so much this year about my life, my family, my strength… you never stop growing do you! I really felt like this post was important. Mostly because just as I’m growing up so is my blog! And you might find some new kinds of content on here! Thanks for reading! Stay tuned!